Bardiness

"..a bardy view!"

Lost in Space…..

Lost in disbelief surely! I had the great joy to watch this 1998 film on TV recently. It's the movie spin-off of the 1960's series of the same name. Rarely have I had such a good laugh, tinged with moments of sheer cringing embarrassment.

Still, I slogged on.Lostinspacepic

Our hero is non other than Joey (how yoooo doin?') from "Friends". He's a gifted battle hardened space fighter pilot about 50 years in the future.

Suspend imagination for a minute, and accept that he's cheesed off somewhat because he has to fly a dysfunctional family half-way across the galaxy to find a new home for the people of Earth.

The Robinson family, all of whom are brilliant scientists, yet not capable of boiling an egg, have been chosen to be the saviours of the human race.

Over population, pollution and environmental disasters have created the need to seek a new home.

Mars is a lot closer, and would probably have been a lot cheaper, but for some reason they had to go off to Alpha Primus or someplace, which involves at least ten years in suspended animation (read suspended belief!).

Anyway, they've got an amazing mega drive thingamajig which allows them to shoot off defying all the laws of physics to help them reach their goal. They hadn't got as far as the moon before they were all woken up by some crazy robot intent on their destruction, and ended up heading for the sun to be sizzled and fried.

Joey had a brainwave. "Let's use the thingamajig and blast through the sun to another place".

"But that's going to get us lost" his friends reply agog.

"Anywhere's better than here", he says with great bravado. I was thinking the same thing myself.

So they shoot right through the sun (it's true) and end up getting lost in space.

But let's return to the Robinson family. These are not the adept and practical bunch of the Victorian Swiss Family variety. No, these are late 20th Century parents and children exported to the mid 21st.

Dad is hassled and aloof, Mum is a combination of the OXO housewife and independent new woman, eldest daughter is smart and ladette, next daughter is everything that anti-social behaviour orders are designed for with all the emotional baggage that adolescence brings with it together with aspirations of the X Factor, whilst young son Will is one of those irritating know-it-all sprogs who left childhood behind to join the social network revolution on Myspace.

These five are the hope for mankind. There were times when Joey was being Joey, but still had the ability to speak like a WWII Battle of Britain pilot, with lines which came straight out of the era. What Douglas Bader would have thought is anyones guess!

Add to that some animated CGI chimp from the Muppet factory, a sinister and jolly English villain, and a confused robot from the Hollywood spare parts department, and the whole thing was a laugh a minute.

There were times when I thought the dialogue was deliberately meant to be ironic. For example, when they all went to bed one night, having crash-landed on some inhospitable planet, the camera panned away to view the spacecraft from above and everyone could be heard saying goodnight to each other.

It was straight out of the closing scenes of The Walton's – "Goodnight Pa! Goodnight Ma! Goodnight Penny, Goodnight etc etc! Even Joey remarked that he didn't believe it! That was irony!

If this was intended, then it was clever. If it wasn't intended – then it was bloody hilarious anyway! I was half expecting Grandad or even Dr Who to pop in and tuck them up.

It's astonishing that there are script writers out there who can get away with this tripe, and even more astonishing that directors can make it. The producers (and especially the actors) must have hoped they had their own personal thingamajig to warp drive far away from it.

"Warp factor five, Mr Chekhov. Get us out of here! And don't spare the horses! Take a short cut through the sun!"

Previous movie review: Troy

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November 18, 2009 - Posted by | Film | , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Thanks for the leg up and laugh. I’ll make sure I won’t watch this but thanks again for the forewarning.

    Like

    Comment by Spook | November 18, 2009 | Reply


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