Bardiness

"..a bardy view!"

Australians wouldn’t give a XXXX for a seahorse’s Willy!

How big is a male seahorse's johnson? Seahorse

The question is inspired by an article in the ABS-CBN news "How big is a blue whale's penis?"

The answer to the first question is of course that he doesn't have one! The female has one, which she uses to deposit her eggs into the belly (marsuppium) of the male, who can then secrete sperm to achieve external fertilisation of the eggs, which he then broods (somewhat like a chicken), until they hatch.

The female seahorse must be a feminists dream. She's got her own willy and therefore conceives single handedly (so to speak), without any assistance of the poor male (lothario is not in a seahorse's vocabulary), and then gets the male to do all the hard work.

It's worth noting that some copulation is required, but it only lasts for six seconds – plenty of time then to down another can of fourex!

However, the system is clearly flawed, as without the male of the species, her offspring wouldn't have anywhere to develop, and subsequently they would become extinct. So the bottom line is – the male is still crucial.

It's life Jim, but not as we know it!

So in an age where women can receive IVF from sperm donors who they do not need to know, nor even partake in the act of sexual reproduction, they still have to carry their young,  for as yet, no equivalent of the male human seahorse exists.

One wonders if this may not one day become reality? Unfortunately, for all the biological uniqueness of the seahorse, they remain an endangered species.

Due to their sloth-like existence they become easy prey for other sea predators, as well as gift shop curios for tourists.

Perhaps it's just as well that nature appears to have rejected this biological design for most, and purely maintains it as a work in progress.

Even female marsupials incubate their young externally (in the pouch), but they still require some horny buck to plant the seed. As yet male kangaroos do not have the capacity to carry their young.

Well, lets face it, they're Australians, and no matter how many six packs of Forsters they drink, it would really be a leap to far! 

So the next time you meet a man from down-under, ask him "Could you be left holding the baby for a lorry-load of Castlemaine XXXX?" Tough question!

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November 27, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Comments »

  1. I like your blog it’s a good read. I also like the layout of your blog.

    Like

    Comment by Dsheray | December 1, 2009 | Reply

  2. Tie me Kangaroo down sport.

    Like

    Comment by spookmoor | September 4, 2014 | Reply

  3. Thanks for reading Spook. I didn’t even realise it had a previous comment until I read it again. Bad form from me for not acknowledging it back then. I think this is one of many posts that got lost when I made the bardiness.com domain map on Typepad, and now that I’ve changed it to bardiness.uk on WordPress – these posts may get a new lease of life.

    Like

    Comment by Bar de Ness | September 4, 2014 | Reply


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