"..a bardy view!"

2010 – A year of Revelation (In more ways than one!)

The arrival of 2010 sees the regular round of bland non stories hitting the headlines particularly the bantering between the usual suspects, namely the UK political parties. God, they are such a bore!

Of course the big story was about an Al Qaeda induced Nigerian terrorist who attempted to blow up a US bound plane on Christmas Day. No surprise that he had been a student in the UK, but perhaps one of the few who had such a palatial pad in upmarket Belgravia. Normally the preserve of the rich and famous, this area is renown for its Georgian and Victorian imposing terraced mansions, and invoke memories of Edwardian polite society with those upstairs reigning lordly over the domestic staff in the basements.

Most of them nowadays are converted into luxury flats, but the high concentration of blue plaques which indicate their previous occupants give an historic perspective of their past glory. Concierge and caretakers abound, all designed to keep the riff raff out, and to maintain the privacy of the deluxe clientele. Clearly any old terrorist can reside there as long as he comes with a wad of cash or linked to a wealthy banker.

Still, we mustn't castigate the father who apparently sussed out his wayward son and reported him. Not that it mattered much, otherwise he would never have got on the plane in the first place. However, his convoluted route from the Yemen, to Togo, to Nigeria, then onward to Amsterdam, and thence to Detroit, clearly confused the security services.

Add all this to the fact he'd been in London for a few months prior and studied for two years, and the recipe to cook up a plot was so obvious that he became invisible and slipped the net like a North Sea trawlerman would ignore the sprat to catch a mackerel.

It's likely that this "war on terror" will plague us all throughout the new decade with ever more restrictions on air travel. Full body scans are soon to be implemented, and by all accounts they are much more revealing than showing up a hidden substance in the nether regions. I suppose they are more preferable than a pat down around the testicles, or a sigmoidoscopy up the rear, but nevertheless, where will it all lead?

What other places are the deviant minds planning on utilising next?

Breast implants sound convenient. "Hello madam, you've got rather large assets, do you mind if we examine them?"

I can see the headline in the Sun:

Big Tit Terrorist Explodes Melons in Security Grope

Then again, a device could be placed up the johnson:

Yemen Semen Ejaculates Prematurely. Hundreds Saved!

I once referred to the shoe bomber who tried to set off an explosion mid air with an explosive device concealed in his footwear, resulting in everyone having to remove their shoes for inspection before boarding a plane. I jokingly said that it's a good job he wasn't known as the underwear bomber. Well it looks like that day has arrived.

The day may even come when some misguided terrorist will imbibe such a quantity of methylated spirit that all he will have to do is drop his pants and ignite a good fart.

It's a gas Jim, but not as we know it!


January 3, 2010 - Posted by | Current Affairs | , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. This bombing should be stop.. Civilians are not safe if this will continue..


    Comment by healthy kitchen | January 11, 2010 | Reply

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