Bardiness

"..a bardy view!"

De’Longhi Qauttro – its a gas……

"The De'Longhi Quattro Plus Metropolis boasts stylish good looks with power and efficiency. Its Italian retro styling and sleek design make the De'Longhi Quattro Plus Metropolis far more than just functional."    Mini

I'd like you to read that again. Is this promotional blurb for the latest nifty super mini?

"Equipped with castor wheels, the De'Longhi Quattro Plus Metropolis is highly mobile and easy to manoeuvre."

Ok, have you sussed it? Maybe the reference to castor wheels gave it away!

Believe it or not this nonsense refers to the top of the range portable gas heater offered by Calor. I'm surprised they weren't offering a test drive. However, driving down the road on this hot beast will certainly turn heads.

This is the babe magnet of the bedsit lothario. "Would you like to come up and see my De'Longhi Quattro?" Forget etchings, this has real pulling power. Quattro-plus-promo-crop

Boasting "push button ignition" and "infra-red radiant heating", with "outstanding 4.2kW output" this baby "will swiftly banish the chill and leave a cosy glow."

I'm hitting this subject because my old Calor banger has finally failed its MOT after 30 years. It was first in its class when new, but it struggles to get mobile now, and just runs out of gas. Well, the gas is there, it's just lost it's thrust. You know the feeling, I'm sure.

There were times I would take it out to blow the exhausts – two miles an hour down the garden path and a quick service, but the poor old beast can't even get over the doorstep anymore.

The days of cruising down the high street, with the wind in my hair, with all three heating modes in top gear are over. Much to the relief of the local fire brigade. My vintage portable gas heater, purchased when my first born arrived (they were tough times) has finally lost its bottle. (15kg incidentally). My daughter is inconsolable.

So I decided to search the web for a reluctant replacement, and there I found the pretentious andCalorgas arrogant De'Longhi Quattro – strutting it's stuff, with its sleek dynamic good looks and thinking it's the bees knees, snobbishly demeaning its predecessors.

Well I figure there is fire in my old banger yet, so I'm going to restore it. Not for me this young upstart with its stylish good looks and sleek design. Besides, personally I think its an ugly contraption. My old jalopy has brass finishing, wooden surrounds, and character oozing out of every vent.   

I figure it gave up when the latest gas arrived in a brand new bottle from a brand new van. Maybe my supplier thought I had the new Quattro 4.2kW turbo model with fuel injection.

As if!

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October 25, 2010 - Posted by | Culture, General | , , , ,

2 Comments »

  1. Classic cars are great!

    Like

    Comment by nevada merchant accounts | February 10, 2011 | Reply

  2. Yes, this pretentious piece of heater crap is probably made in China and will last only one year. I’m with you, refurbish the old, good one instead.
    There is a lot covered over by hyperbole, whether it is product, politicians, legislation or pick up lines, but when you see that arrogant over-stating, you can know for sure its a dog and pony show hiding something you really don’t want to see!

    Like

    Comment by Margaret Schaut | July 26, 2012 | Reply


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