"..a bardy view!"

Starship Bloopers….

I've just seen a 1997 movie called Starship Troopers on the goggle box. At some point in the future a militarised Earth is battling a planet of ugly bugs.  Starship-Troopers

Anyone who has seen Robocop will sense a feeling of Déjà vu. Not because they are remotely connected, but the imagery, choreography and cynical analysis of media subliminal power, and big business corruption married to the state will strike a chord.

The director Paul Verhouven has stamped his unique visual credentials on this one – and love or loathe him, it cannot be denied that he's a master of the genre.

Violence and exploitation is his mantra, throw in some occasional sex and nudity, wrap it up with messages of disaster for mankind, special effects, a healthy dose of cynicism and cheesy humour, all with the portents of doom, and finally finish off with a jolly good saccharine message that maybe there is still hope for the human race.

Not so really – our Paul likes to lace his movies with political messages – and he's really hung up on fascism.

Renown for controversial films like Basic Instinct and Showgirls, the latter being his attempt to justify a movie more concerned with eroticism and high-end sex shows disguised as a moral tome on the exploitation of women.

Wow! Heavy stuff. In truth if I had thought more than a minute on the previous paragraph, I would have forgotten its structure and composition. You have to think fast when you write on the hoof! Showgirls

But back to Starship Troopers. Presumably it was a spoof of some kind, perhaps an indictment of Hollywood's obsession with beautiful people doing courageous acts wrapped in a flag of patriotism – or in this case – citizenship.

The flag in question was not the stars and stripes, but an Earth flag representing all peoples of the planet, striving for peace but faced with extinction by a colony of giant insects who are smart enough to haul meteorites at regular intervals from billions of miles, to cause havoc and destruction on our little planet.

Buenos Aires was the first place to be obliterated, so if you live in Argentina consider packing your bags because the bugs are out to get you.

Nevertheless, it was an entertaining two hours of absolute nonsense, and somewhere, hidden in the plethora of pandemonium, were messages of conviction, desire, duty, sacrifice, friendship, parental conflict and tragedy. Yet all influenced by the power of political propaganda.

A gamut of human emotions, and maybe the bugs were nothing more than a representation of the fears, struggles, insecurities and challenges that confused young people have to deal with. Indeed, perhaps the bugs were the enemy within?

Of course, it could be none of these things, and the movie may be just a load of absolute tosh.

I suspect that many of the cast regarded it as a jolly romp, and those which took it seriously were victims of the director's sadistic artistic license.

I have to single out two of its principle characters – Casper Van Dien – the chiseled chinned young hero whose wooden performance would encourage a conifer to consider a career in the theatre, and his love interest, Denise Richards, who successfully managed to smile throughout, even when on at least two occasions she was about to be dispatched with utmost pain and suffering.Denise richards

It was this permanent grin which caught my train of thought, to the extent that I was wishing – just for once – she could animate herself sufficiently to break the set face-mask of joy and euphoria. 

Even when she learned that the great love of her life was dead – that set wide grin, displaying teeth that a dentist would be proud to endorse – could not droop.

It did drop once – and then I realised that poor Denise, for all her qualities, should never stop smiling – to do so would allow her mouth to to sink to such miserable depths that her face collapses. Clearly, her smile is the scaffolding which keeps everything else supported.

Cruel indeed I may be, but if it's any consolation, our hero Casper matched her equally. Indeed, Casper would be a valuable asset at the Shakespeare Globe Theatre, if only to be a pillar of support.

Fancy another Bardy review? The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emporer


February 4, 2011 - Posted by | Arts, Books, Culture, Education, Film, Politics, Science | , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. I’m a sitting here laughing my head off. One of the best film, that’s (fillum in Irish), reviews I have ever read. I don’t watch toss like this, honestly, not even for amusement. You might be surprised how many people consider this, ‘gospel truth’?


    Comment by Spook Moor | February 4, 2011 | Reply

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