Bardiness

"..a bardy view!"

It’s a Dog’s life…part 2….

Our resident canine has decided to go on vacation. Regular readers will know that she's a bitch. DSC06016

Don't get me wrong. I haven't put her in kennels. No, she sometimes decides to pack a grip and pops off on her travels. She finds my daughter's Oyster Card (cheap travel throughout London) and presents it doe-eyed to anyone who is willing to accompany her on the tube.

Consequently this Jack Russell has visited some very famous places, more than the average tourist, and gained entrance to places where animals are not allowed. Fortunately she cannot read and therefore unable to recognise signs saying "no dogs permitted".

She has been enthralled at the Natural History Museum dwelling on old bones. Her recent visit to the Science museum resulted in a unique experiment on the effects of urine in a confined space.

A trip to Brighton last year found her in deep conversation with a jogger on the beach, whose expletives cannot be repeated on the grounds of decency. Only two days ago, she entered into a discussion with a cyclist in Richmond Park, who almost fell off his bike due to the shock of the conversation.

I have warned her many times that her behaviour is unacceptable and that she must keep her opinions to herself.

I've also suggested that if she can carry a London Travelcard, how come she can't carry a pooper-scooper at the same time?

The deer in Richmond have decided to form a militia, and are now very alert to combat this little bully. In Osterley Park the swans have initiated a defence perimeter.

Indeed, the Prime Minister has written to the National Trust and identified her as a public enemy.

However, he recognises that she is useful to display bravado with urban foxes, and realises she has unique talents in keeping rats down.

So our little Jack Russell has gone off on a day trip, and the latest news is that she is on an RAF Tornado flying over Libya. Gaddafi is in big trouble!

When she returns she will just trot in the house arrogantly, take her food and water and retire to her bed. She'll probably get a commendation from the government to boot!

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March 20, 2011 - Posted by | Current Affairs, Dogs, Events, Humour | ,

1 Comment »

  1. Funny! Those little buggers are very well known for ‘conversations’ with whomever them deem worthy.

    Like

    Comment by Deb | March 20, 2011 | Reply


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