Bardiness

"..a bardy view!"

Facebook Friend Felicitations……

I think it's jolly decent for facebook to inform me regularly that I have friends with birthdays coming up. If memory serves me well, when I registered with facebook I put my year of birth down as 1910. I was a bit miffed that I didn't receive a telegram from the Queen last year. Then again, she's not my friend (although I know she cares about me), so I forgive her.

I'm not even sure if she's on facebook come to that, maybe that's why I didn't get an invite to the Royal Wedding. You can imagine if she posted "I'm having a party at the palace for my grandson. The servants are away so bring a bottle!"

We all know the result when that happens – loads of spotty adolescents turn up and trash the place, leaving vomit and cigarette burns on the carpet. The police get called and the parents return home from their sojourn in the south of France, furious that they ever considered that their sixteen year old daughter was sufficiently mature enough to have a quiet bash with a few friends. Yeah, they learnt to their cost that those friends were on facebook – thousands of 'em!

But back to my facebook friends with birthdays. Most are not friends, nor even passing acquaintances – I may know a few personally – but the majority are strangers. God knows I have few friends anyway – and even some of them are strange!

I can barely remember my own birthday, so how come facebook never reminds me of mine? "Hi Bardiness, someone you know has a birthday coming up – it's YOU! Why not send yourself a greeting?"

I'm not even sure I want to be reminded of my own birthday, especially as I'm 101 years old! Oh yes – I've been around the block a few times, generally pickled or stewed.

Of those birthdays I do remember without assistance (what on earth did we do without facebook to aid our memory?), I have a tendency to immediately forget. This is what happens when you are a centenarian. In an instant a little grey cell combusts with a flash of incandescence, and extinguishes in the same second.

"Now what was that thought I had? It's ok – facebook will remind me!" Speaking of thoughts, I recently extinguished my twitter account (this is a great read). There were 100 followers who I didn't know, yet they found it their mission to assault my senses with micro-messages of 140 characters.

I discovered what they ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I learned about their aches and pains, and whether they found their favourite tin of soup at the supermarket. They even had the nerve to link to others with similar interests and assume I was awaiting with baited breath. This was information overdrive. I didn't even care about such things myself, never-mind about this army obsessed tweet-totallers.

So I got another email today that I had a facebook friend with a birthday coming up. If this is you reading this, then many happy returns, long life, good health and prosperity. Forgive me for not buying a card…but by the time I get to the shop I will have forgotten why I went.

Happy birthday to all my facebook friends – because I know you will all have a birthday sooner or later. And thanks to facebook for reminding my that a) I have friends – at the time of writing – and b) that they actually have birthdays. I never ever realised this. My life is enriched as a consequence.

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July 31, 2011 - Posted by | Culture, Education, facebook | , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. What another, bewitching and enticing read and Happy Birthday to you too you old codger.

    Like

    Comment by Spook | August 3, 2011 | Reply


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