England, the Philippines, and Viagra…..

Well it's official. You know things are really bad when the English riots are discussed in the Philippines' House of Representatives. Apparently three Filipinos were affected by riots in London – one who got hurt and taken to hospital, one who lost his car, and a shopkeeper who had her plate glass broken.

Foreign Affairs Secretary, Albert del Rosario, says the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) "are closely monitoring the situation of the Filipinos living in England." In a radio interview a DFA spokesman, Raul Hernandez, seems to have contradicted his minister: "no Filipino was hurt but we have been in close coordination with the acting ambassador to the UK, Reynaldo Catapang." 

So there wasn't any Filipinos hurt then? That means one lost his car and one got some glass smashed. Hmm!

He added that "leaders of the Filipino communities in the UK had been alerted, and were monitoring the status of the riots." The DFA has even issued an advisory for Filipinos in London warning them to "be alert, and refrain from going to business and shopping centres where looting was rampant, and violence excalating."

They have gone further and issued an embassy hotline number as well as a number in Manila for those who have relatives in London.

This gave me one of the best laughs on a dull day. Such advisories are to be expected for Filipinos living and working in Bahrain, Libya, Egypt, Tunisia, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan and Syria. It beggars belief that some ridiculous official has followed similar protocol to highlight the dangers in London.

Of the quarter million Filipinos in the UK, I would be surprised if just one rang their consulate's hotline to express concern about their safety. And as for their worried relatives back home, they will be in constant touch with them either on Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo Messenger (with webcam) or texting on their smart-phones. Indeed, Filipinos are some of the most tech-savvy people on the planet.

I shall be "monitoring the situation closely" myself, because the DFA may well be sending out an all points bulletin in the very near future, advising their subjects to evacuate post haste and that they will be diverting their newly acquired destroyer (and ex-US vessel) the BRP Gregorio del Pilar, currently on route to the Philippines from California – to dock at Southampton and rescue all their frantic citizens.

Those that don't make it will be told to make their way to the nearest airport before it closes and the whole country goes into complete lock-down. Mr del Rosario will take centre stage in the House of Representatives, stating that the troops are on the streets, martial law has been imposed, curfews are in place and anyone outside after dusk will be shot by order of the UK's new ruling military junta.

The events in England have certainly made global headlines, and even Iranian President Ima Dinner Jacket is urging the UN Security Council to take action over Britain and her oppressed masses.

I often complain about the over-cautious advice issued by the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office for UK citizens overseas, accepting nonetheless the valuable service they provide, but for a Philippines Government Minister to stand up in the House of Representatives with officious pomp and bloated self-importance, waxing lyrical (and I suspect making political capital to boot) out of three (or two) unverified and not particularly serious incidents in the grand scheme of events, says more about the state of Philippines politics than the state of abberated social unrest in a highly developed nation 7000 miles away.

A nation incidentally which is the largest European investor in the Philippines, and has provided a welcome economic environment with incalculable opportunities for pinoys whose accrued wealth have returned billions of dollars in remittances to their own country.

We Brits get a lot of stick, and I agree with social commentators that there is a fundamental sickness in certain sectors of our society – and it can only be hoped that the recent events will mark significant changes.

But the reality is that this country is old, very old, and I suspect it is very tired. We have walked somnambulatory into our problems through a combination of apathy, lethargy, exhaustion and a liberal weakness to please and conform in a world which moves faster than our archaic and ancient systems can keep pace with.

Our system of Government behaves like a geriatric on Viagra. It dozes, it masticates (I said masticates), and occasionally it takes a blue pill to get the blood flowing. A thirty minute thrill of performance resulting in intense activity and then – oops! We are impotent again!

The blue pill was swallowed at the recent royal wedding. The blue pill will be swallowed at the Olympics. We will rise to the occasion. We are a Viagra nation!

But before the world condemns us, let the world look in the mirror. France has had countless republics, Germany was rebuilt only 60 years ago, the USA is only 235 years old, the USSR lasted barely 70 years and Russia has been reborn. Spain became a democracy only 35 years ago.

Eastern Europe have rediscovered their freedoms in the space of a decade as have the Balkans. China has tempered and become an economic powerhouse. Around the world nations are changing and throwing off their shackles of oppression. Good luck to them.

But Britannia? Over one thousand years of uninterrupted stability! World Wars have come and gone – but still she plods along. Bruised, battered and bewildered.

Criticise her by all means, condemn her if you must, but love her and embrace her for she needs you now. To lose her is to lose your mother.

Fight for her and defend her – because when she's gone the world will truly weep.