Bardiness

"..a bardy view!"

And the rich shall inherit the Earth……

SiloAn abandoned missile silo in Kansas is being decked out to be a Doomsday Shelter in the event of Apocalypse.

Larry Hall, an enterprising chap, bought the silo for $300,000 and is selling the concept of luxury underground condos to the paranoid who fear the imminent end of the world and want to be prepared.

Commonly known as Doomsday Preppers they are a growing movement of people (mainly Americans), who are stocking up (preparing) to face a world where life as we know it will cease to exist.

This is all very well, but with a fee of $2m per condo, it means that the only people left on the planet will be a bunch of wealthy idiots. The future looks grim indeed.



I won't go into specifics, but these underground circular apartments have everything your average bog standard millionaire requires. Swimming pools, cinemas, farms to grow fish and vegetables and enough dry goods to see out five years. There's a library, a medical centre and a school. Energy will come from windmill powered generators. There'll be water tanks and a first class security system to keep out the marauding plebs (if there's any left).

Such is the fear of nuclear armageddon, global pandemic, solar flares, catastrophic climate change and even – yes you've guessed it – zombie hordes (I blame Hollywood), that a whole industry revolves around the the subject.

Many shops (both on and offline) do a roaring trade in water-filtration systems, long-life food, weapons (natch) and self-assembly bunker kits. There's a plethora of survival websites with so-called experts in the field, ready and willing to give information from basic nuclear radiation protection to explicit and graphic details on how to kill the undead. 

But back to silo city. There are 70 Atlas-F silos in the US, and our intrepid Larry has options to buy three more. He knows his market. So far he has four customers who have paid a cool million each. Not bad considering all they've bought at the moment is an empty space in an empty metal can.

I'd like to know what the small print says? Maybe there's a timeshare option? This selling technique is based on the "act now or miss out" principle, and plays on the fear of missing out on a good deal. There's no bigger mug than a rich mug, and no more truer saying than a fool and his money are soon parted.

Lets suppose, for arguments sake, that there is a global catastrophe, and mankind is wiped out. The only people left will be a bunch of selfish anaemic looking specimens who have spent the last few years living luxuriously in a metal cylinder. Out they will pop (squeezed out no doubt) to a world that they have no knowledge of, no remnant of their assets, stocks, shares, or bank accounts, and will have to begin repopulating the Earth, without any skills to do so.

This is where Larry hasn't thought things through. The logical thing for Mr Hall to do would be to only sell his condos to agriculturalists, engineers, chemists, scientists, mechanics and …… (feel free to add a useful skill). If you're going to start afresh, these are the people who'll be needed to get things started again. But they aren't going to buy because they are likely to be too intelligent. His current interested customers are prima-donna footballers, c-list celebrities, politicians and bankers. 

Well, if that's the future of mankind we can safely say that nothing will change.

Yes a  fool Yank and his money are soon parted!

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April 11, 2012 - Posted by | Conservation, Education, Humour, Religion, Science | , , , , , , , ,

3 Comments »

  1. Thank you for a most entertaining read. I sure needed it. Well if this was Zimbabwe it wouldn’t be long until the war vets invaded the silos either?

    Like

    Comment by Spook Moor | April 12, 2012 | Reply

  2. ….and thank you for saying so. On the subject of Zimbabwe (!) I hear old madmug isn’t in too fine fettle. Is this the beginning of the end?

    Like

    Comment by Bar De Ness | April 12, 2012 | Reply

  3. That was such a fine plan. This is very reliable information.

    Like

    Comment by Mass Notification Education | January 23, 2013 | Reply


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