"..a bardy view!"

The London Olympics – Stop Bloody Moaning!

TowerbridgeolympicsHere at Bardiness HQ the control room is buzzing in anticipation at the imminent start of the greatest event of the century.

20,000 journalists are arriving to the Sceptered Isles, as well as 10,000 athletes, and over a million tourists.

Very soon the Olympic torch will pass just yards from the Bardy Command Centre, to eventually end up at the Olympic Stadium on the 27th July.

The hot news is that the main security contractor G4S (aka Group 4 Securitas) have failed to perform and grossly underestimated their ability to provide the necessary manpower. No gold medals for them then.

Indeed, when it's all over it's very likely that the only gong they'll get is the Order of the Boot. The autopsy on the debacle is likely to be thorough and ruthless, and should certainly question the prolific use of private contractors to undertake essential services in place of dedicated public professionals.

Oh yes, it's a salutary lesson for governments to reevaluate the reliance on such organizations, and instead of attempting to cut essential public services they should in fact be investing in them more.

Fortunately the nation has still got a semblance of an army left, and, along with the police have stepped up to the plate to cover the shortfall, and quite frankly, we'd all prefer them to be around as opposed to some casual, hastily recruited air-heads who can’t be bothered to get out of bed in the mornings. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

Many British soldiers suddenly assigned have only recently returned from combat duties in Afghanistan, some indeed are facing redundancy due to defence cuts, and yet here they are, expected to rise to the occasion, giving up well earned leave, to keep our streets and the Games safe.

Of course, as is usually the case, the opposition are keen to exploit what they see as ministerial incompetence, and the knives are out. The trinity of the Home Office, G4S and Logoc (the London Olympic Games Organising Committee) are all in the frame, and all will have to account themselves in the dissecting scrutiny yet to come.

It was all going so well. Compared to previous Games, London was way ahead with the stadiums built well within the time frame. But suddenly things began to unravel. Transport fears, security, chaos at airports, and even the weather cast a dark cloud on proceedings.

Fortunately amidst all the confusion, the London Mayor Battling Boris shakes it off like a dog after a bath and stands unfazed. With his usual jollity he confidently proclaims that all is well, and tells everyone to stop moaning!

The British are natural moaners, and if we don't have anything to moan about we are not happy. If the weather is bad we complain, and when it’s good we complain because it's time we had some rain; or that it's too hot, or that it's not good for the plants. Well we've had more rain recently than is good for us – this on the back of a hosepipe ban because we didn't have enough rain in the last two years.

The British press aren't happy unless they complain. When it’s a heat wave the headlines are "Phew. What a scorcher!" Or "Wettest summer since records began!"

Together with all the Olympic problems which are giving them a field day, they've now got their teeth into the 2011 census results, with observations that the population of England and Wales has increased by 3 million in ten years and guess what – this is because of uncontrolled immigration. Well, of course it is, otherwise it would mean that the average British woman was a rabbit.

One must question why the Office for National Statistics chose to release the initial finding now, and not wait until the Olympics were over – five weeks would hardly make a difference. Or maybe they thought that it was a good time for the figures to get buried amongst everything else going on. Big mistake. If there is one thing the British media has its unlimited space to fill with radio, TV, newspapers on and off-line, magazines and barflies in abundance.

In an age when digital media is at its zenith, with a myriad of technical devices to access it, all news is fair game – however inane or sensational.

Indeed these Olympic Games are the Digital Games. British Telecom predicts that 60 gigabytes of information, equivalent to 3000 photographs, will travel across the Olympic Park's network every second. I found that information from the Philippines Daily Inquirer, which has devoted a whole section of the paper for continuous uninterrupted coverage – see what I mean?

So it would be naive to assume that an event of this magnitude doesn't suffer problems. But I'll stick my neck out and say that this is going to be one of the greatest and best organized games ever, and that it is held in a country which still has the capacity and ability to handle these things.

Yes the British like to moan and find fault, but when it's all hands to the pump they rally, and that is an inherent characteristic, because at the end of the day, they are fundamentally and secretly very smugly proud of themselves.

So bring on the Games and stop bloody moaning!

If I can  – anyone can!


July 17, 2012 - Posted by | Boxing, Culture, Current Affairs, Education, Events, General, London, Olympic Games, Photography, Politics, Sport, Travel, United Kingdom | , ,


  1. Well, never fear. America’s Big Sister (Janet Napolitano) is going global with her security crew of molesters (gloved and otherwise) to come and help pull off granny’s diapers, grandpa’s colostomy bags, checking all orifices and irradiating all tourists in a desperate effort to make the Brits feel safer and take Big Brother/ Big Sister to an international level.
    Go ahead and complain, there are plenty of cures for that!


    Comment by Margaret Schaut | July 17, 2012 | Reply

  2. The Yanks are back again then? Looks like once again they’re too bloody late, and, oh yes, I’ll have the roast beef and three veg.


    Comment by Spook Moor | July 18, 2012 | Reply

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