Bardiness

"..a bardy view!"

The Walking “Dread”…..

Walkingdead

"The mindless creatures having their heads smashed in are already dead – so that's ok then – no harm done!"

I've recently watched the first two episodes of The Walking Dead series three.

Episode one in the 3rd series was a gore-fest of dead people being murdered. I've said before (see Bardiness Walking Dead) that the whole premise of this show is to transfer violent computer games into mainstream television.

In fact rarely have I seen such violence, blood and guts. But it's ok – because the people having their brains smashed in are already dead – walking dead. Let’s return to the beginning. Good cop wakes up in hospital after being shot, and discovers that the world is inhabited by zombies. Through a series of adventures, the "normal" folk strive to survive under constant threat of being eaten.

Zombies don't eat other zombies – otherwise they would all eat each other – problem solved. No, they are very particular where their meat comes from, and only eat fresh on the bone. The second series centred on a farm, which was rather boring dealing with emotional and ethical issues; but as it happened the owner (a veterinary surgeon) kept zombies in one of his sheds, because he still regarded them as human – especially as one of them was his wife. Anyway, the shed zombies got decapitated, and eventually our heroes, the real killing machines, had to leave the farm because more zombies were invading. I blame the smart-arse kid for all that – after all, he was taunting one for fun. Speaking of that obnoxious little mischief maker, he really needs to find another acting job.

Series 3: It's already been revealed in series 2 (no spoilers here) that the normal people are already infected with the zombie virus, so when they die they will become Zombies themselves. "Pierce my brain when I'm dead – I can't go on knowing that I'm a mindless idiot" they say. Maybe that's what the writer thought?

So our intrepid heroes actually break into a prison for safety. Annihilating the zombie prison population in their path. You couldn't make this up. Astonishingly, having effectively committed mass capital punishment on the inmates (as well as the zombie wardens) they then find some real-life inmates, who by good fortune, have been locked up in the well-stocked canteen for the last 10 months, (hence their healthy physiques, designer stubble and tanned appearance), and all (bar a couple of seemingly decent but scruffy and scrawny ones) happen to be very nasty criminals indeed.

So what do the good guys do? They kill them as well. In fact, this is the second time our heroes have killed normal people, because their primeval desire to survive, means killing any potential enemy – even if they are not zombies! When is it going to end? They can hardly go back to being accountants, lawyers or estate agents when the world returns to normal. Then again…on second thought's….

Anyway, there was a particularly gruesome scene when "good cop with a heart" - the fearless leader, smashed a machete into the head of an evil psychopathic prisoner. He wasn't taking any chances – he's got a group of jolly decent people to protect. The fact that they are all mentally unstable doesn't matter. And that petulant kid is still about, who happily roams around discharging his gun at the un-dead. Where's Dracula when you need him?

The kid is only 11 years old, but somehow he managed to find the medical wing of the prison (whilst everyone else is in panic) and returns with the supplies required to save some old codger who got his leg chopped off in graphic detail by "Good Cop" after having it bitten by a somnambulist zombie dozing in a corridor. (This must have been an extra looking for an easy job). The old codger is the vet from series 2, and such is his medical expertise at delivering calves and piglets, he is crucial to the plot, for without him how on earth can he deliver the baby due from "Good Cop's" wife? So whilst he is in a stupor recovering from his amputation, another woman goes off to find a female zombie, kills it (so to speak) and then starts practicing the anatomical surgical operation required to perform a cesarean birth (just in case codger doesn't survive). It's great family viewing.

I have to say that watching the last two episodes I have become immune and rarely have I laughed so much. It's reached the stage when I want the zombies to win.

Apparently there are people in America called Doomsday Preppers – survivalists who actually are preparing themselves for the Zombie hoards. Maybe this is their training video. 

See also Bardiness: and the rich shall inherit the earth

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October 26, 2012 - Posted by | Culture, Education, Film, Humour, Religion, Science, The Walking Dead, USA | , , ,

3 Comments »

  1. Very entertaining read albeit somewhat gory. Whatever will people watch next? The trouble with Yank speak is that it becomes infectious? That’s ‘caesarian’?

    Like

    Comment by spookmoor | October 27, 2012 | Reply

  2. I like several series on AMC, including Hell on Wheels. However The Walking Dead is not my thing.
    Personally I can’t figure out what the appeal is with that show. I can understand why costume designers and makeup artists might want to watch it, from a technical aspect. However zombies have never been my thing.
    Your description doesn’t make me want to watch it either. I’ll stick to Spartacus on Starz for blood and guts.

    Like

    Comment by Yardley@techdealsmag | November 5, 2012 | Reply

  3. Hi Yardley, thanks for your comment. Yes – I think zombies have been done to death, but they just won’t lie down.

    Like

    Comment by Bar De Ness | November 7, 2012 | Reply


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